It's Not Just In Your Head. Parenthood Is Really This Hard—And Capitalism Makes It Infinitely Harder.

Written By Gloria Lopez, MS, LMHC, CCATP, CLC
 
 

Becoming a parent is one of the most profound transitions a person can go through—physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Yet, in the United States, new parents are set up to fail. The isolation, exhaustion, and relentless demands of caregiving are not just individual struggles; they are symptoms of a broken system.

Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs)—including postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, and psychosis—are often treated as personal mental health issues. But the truth is, they are deeply exacerbated by a capitalist society that refuses to support caregivers, prioritizes profit over people, and upholds the myth of the self-sufficient nuclear family.

 

The Myth of the Nuclear Family and Rugged Individualism

 

Capitalism thrives on the idea that families should function as self-contained units, handling all caregiving, financial burdens, and emotional labor on their own. This "rugged individualism" is a lie. Humans evolved in communal societies where child-rearing was shared. Yet in the U.S., parents—especially mothers—are expected to do it all: work full-time, raise children, maintain households, and somehow remain emotionally stable.

 
 

The wealthy circumvent these pressures by outsourcing labor—nannies, night nurses, housekeepers, meal services, therapists, and postpartum doulas. They can afford extended parental leave (or simply not work), private childcare, and mental health care. Meanwhile, the majority of Americans—especially those in low-income and middle-class households—are left drowning.

 

The U.S. Refuses to Fund the Supports That Make Parenting Manageable

 

Other developed nations—many with far fewer resources than the U.S.—provide:

  • Universal healthcare (including mental health care)

  • Paid parental leave (often a year or more)

  • Subsidized childcare

  • Postpartum home visits

  • Free or low-cost preschool

  • Living wages and worker protections

 
 

These policies exist because those countries tax their wealthiest citizens and corporations fairly. In the U.S., the richest hoard wealth while politicians gut social programs, leaving parents without safety nets.

The result?

  • The U.S. has the highest maternal mortality rate among wealthy nations—and it’s rising. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC)

  • Infant mortality rates are worse here than in other developed countries. (World Health Organization, WHO)

  • Child abuse and neglect rates are higher in the U.S.—often linked to poverty and lack of support. (Administration for Children and Families, ACF)

  • Mass shootings are now a leading cause of death for American children. (American Academy of Pediatrics, AAP)

  • Opioid overdoses and mental health crises are surging—signs of a society in collapse. (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, SAMHSA)

 
 

Capitalism Thrives on Parental Suffering

 

The system isn’t broken—it’s working exactly as intended. Capitalism depends on unpaid (or underpaid) care labor, keeping wages low so parents must work multiple jobs, and ensuring that families remain isolated to maximize corporate profits.

When parents struggle, they’re told:

"You should have waited until you were more financially stable."

"It’s your responsibility to manage stress."

"Ask your family for help." (As if everyone has that option.)

But the real problem isn’t individual failure—it’s a system designed to extract labor and wealth from the many while protecting the oligarchs at the top.

 

Moving From Individual Coping to Collective Action

 

While therapy can help individuals navigate this broken system, we need radical changes to truly support parents.

Here's how to fight back:

1. Demand & Build Socialist Policies:

  • Support Medicare for All to guarantee postpartum and pediatric care

  • Fight for universal childcare like the Child Care for Working Families Act

  • Push for Green New Deal policies that include paid leave and living wages

2. Join Socialist Organizations:

  • The Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) fights for parental leave and housing justice

  • Local mutual aid networks provide material support like meal trains and baby supplies

  • Labor unions organizing for better parental workplace protections

3. Reject Capitalist "Solutions":

  • Challenge the idea that expensive "self-care" products fix systemic problems

  • Resist the pressure to solve parenting struggles through individual consumerism

  • Build community care networks instead of relying on privatized services

 
 

You Deserve Support—And a Better System

 

If you're struggling with perinatal mental health, know this:

  • Your pain is valid

  • Your exhaustion is logical

  • Your anger is justified

At Beyond The Birth, LLC, we provide compassionate care while acknowledging these struggles are political.

We'll help you:

✔ Process the emotional toll of parenting under capitalism

✔ Connect with activist groups fighting for change, if you so choose

✔ Develop coping strategies that reject individualist "fixes"


Because you shouldn't need to be resilient against a system designed to break you. Together, we can imagine—and fight for—a world where parenting is supported rather than sabotaged.


Sources:

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) maternal mortality data

World Health Organization (WHO) infant health reports

Administration for Children and Families (ACF) child welfare statistics

American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) firearm research

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) mental health data

Beyond The Birth, LLC specializes in perinatal mental health, offering therapy that recognizes the political roots of parental stress. We are in network with several private insurance plans and offer affordable tiered private pay fees for services. Return to our home page on this site to learn more.

Gloria Lopez, MS, LMHC, CCATP, CLC